Writing this since I had a depressive-quasi-panic attack recently, hoping that this could serve as a one-stop-all notes for what to do when me and you, the reader, have it now or in the future.
A conclusion that I take after doing some reading here and there is that there’s no universal way to stop such attacks. Hopefully you’re able to pick some pointers from this lists and apply what you think is suitable.
This list is taken from many sources. I’ll put links to where I took those points on the bottom of the page.
Also, this will be added from time to time, as per the definition of a digital garden.
What to think when you feel depressed
- If you feel like shit for any kind of reason that you appoint to yourself (stuck on your bed and not wanting to get up, unable to accomplish something, feeling stuck in what you did for today, the past few days or even months), remember that you have the opportunity to try again tomorrow. The feeling might not stop today or tomorrow, but remember that you have the option to fight it anyway.
- Also, be patient with yourself. There’s no point in beating up yourself even more.
- Some day might hits you harder than the other. But the opposite is also true, there will be days where it feels easier to do things. Try to look forward to tomorrow’s fresh start.
- A quote that is kinda related to this, though not directly, is one from BoJack: “It get’s easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you got to do it every day. That’s the hard part. But it does get easier.
- What you feel about the bad things that your mind focuses on are mostly an overgeneralization by your own mind; in other words, it feels like there’s only bad things that you did/happened to you because your mind are too focused to remember those, and not the good ones. And that’s kinda expected from it; depression literally changes how your mind works from biological level. And then it will affect other things in your body, like how you sleep, appetite, and energy level.1
- Push yourself to recognize the good. Writing down what was meaningful about the event or day. Journaling methods like daily notes is a good way to track this.
- Write the bad ones, too. In the long run, looking back at what you write might surprise you with how far you’ve gone despite what happened, or even how the things have turned since.
- If you are hesitating about seeking help from others, be it your close friends (online or irl) or professional help like psychologist or psychiatrist, remember this: It is better to do that anyway than just sitting here another night. Roll the dice and you might get a high roll, or even a natural 20.
- When you feel intimidated about what to do, or perhaps knew what the goal you’re pursuing but unable to think of how to achieve it, the first thing is “doing what you can.” If that still overwhelms you with how much or little you can potentially do, set a small goal everyday.
- The point, especially right at the start, is not to achive many small things, but rather do a small thing day by day, and then add one or two when you feel comfortable. Refer to that BoJack quote again.
- From my experience, you will actually feel good from accomplishing a small thing, and will want to do more and more. This feedback loop is the goal in the long run, but again, don’t feel too dejected when the streak ends some days in the long run. The road to the destination is still long, use the most of it.
- Do things one at a time. Strike out one task from the to-do list when you accomplished it, but do try to. This is why starting small and singular is important—setting 20 small things to do when you started, especially when you feel depressed and think that you can’t do shit will only deter you from clearing that list. Start from the easiest task, and the next one will get a little bit easier, too.
- The point, especially right at the start, is not to achive many small things, but rather do a small thing day by day, and then add one or two when you feel comfortable. Refer to that BoJack quote again.
- Continuation from the previous point: All goals are worthy of recognition, and all successes are worthy of celebration, no matter how small it is. When you achieve a goal, do your best to recognize it. Extrinsic motivation is a powerful thing, it will keep you going as long as you think you did it genuinely.
- If you thought you’re lowballing it, perhaps feeling that you intentionally pick easy things to do again and again and you feel bad from doing so, then weaponize that feeling. The thought might came out because your mind doesn’t feel satisfied anymore with the tasks that you’ve done, and it’s time to step up, be it from doing more or doing what you feel a little bit harder—if so, then set a time beforehand to recognize that it is harder than what you’ve done recently and think about how to do it step by step (e.g. breaking it down into smaller tasks).
- Don’t frame the advice above to be “Don’t be not productive when you’re feeling down”; trying to think that what you feels are validated in terms of productivity (something along the lines of “I won’t be a deadbeat if I can be useful to the society”) in the context of depression is putting the cart before the horse—you’re putting the priorities in the wrong order. If your daily life is usually a productive one and you feel down for one reason or another on some days, prioritize in getting yourself fixed up and ready first before you can be productive as usual. If you’re on a long slump, the priority is still the same: Fix yourself first so you can be the best version of what you think you are, or achieve the best potential that you can be.
Sources
- https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/how-to-fight-depression
- https://www.healthline.com/health/extrinsic-motivation