Continuation of yesterday’s journal. Found another logs, but now it’s from December 2021 and May 2022. To give some context, around this time I’ve taken medications and have been moving forward compared to in August, but still felt that I haven’t moved from the point that I’m in at that time. I’m in better condition, but still felt stuck, basically.
No date (Modified date is 2021/12/18, seems to be the mark of latest entry)
Write.
I need to write.
But right now, I don’t know where to start to write.
Is it the start, or the aspect that I knew the most?
I think I still refuse to actualize the word that I need to write.
I’ve read stuff. A lot of it, but not that much of a lot. Still, enough to make me lost in it if I’m not focusing myself enough on certain specific topics.
Seems like it’s better for me to write the theoretical and litrev section to be focused on each literature rather than topics, though it might results in shorter (like around 1-2 paragraph) per section of literature – it might be best to write the summary of each literature in the 1st paragraph and what needed to be taken of in the next paragraphs.
Now onto the introduction part.
My problem is that I don’t know where to start.
Should I just bash ideas and hope the writing have flow by itself?
Then the solution indeed is to discipline myself. Write as much as I can in a day. Even if it’s just a sentence or a paragraph.
Now then. Email.
Should be informing about my depression as the root of my problem. Not as an excuse.
I think I know what to write in my introductory email.
Mention Lampiran draft poin skripsi, mungkin bisa cc/include email dengan bu irma sebelumnya.
Jelasin seputar depresi & anxiety problem, maaf karena nggak ada bukti resep/obat yang bisa diberikan. Mention kalau itu yang menjadi kendala terbesar, ditambah situasi corona yang menyulitkan bertatap muka langsung dalam proses bimbingan.
Sebut kendala sekarang apa, terutama di theory building/pembuatan kerangka berpikir. Jelaskan perkembangan terakhir dari pemikiran yang ada sekarang.
Minta kalau dengan penjelasan tersebut masih bersedia untuk membimbing, minta bantuan kedepannya sebagai mahasiswa bimbingan. Kalau tidak, mohon ijin untuk mengganti dosen bimbingan lagi pada semester depan.
Documentary-style narration might fits.
Jadi langsung spittin fact dulu.
A challenge?
Should goals be enough for that?
I suppose, but I don’t know.
No date (Modified date is 2022/05/31)
What do I want to write?
I have so much thing in my mind, yet no desire to jolt it down, even if it’s for myself later on.
Father seems to think that the problem I have is that I don’t know what to write.
That… might be true, even now.
I’m stuck, that’s what to be certain.